Dear First Lady Michelle Obama,
Your husband and his people have been sending me emails for months now. I was sure you'd caught on because then you started sending them me too. After the election, well I thought we'd put this all behind us. But unfortunately, I'm still receiving emails and, well, I thought you should know.
You seem like a nice enough lady. I've even written you a letter that's published in the book "Go, Tell Michelle: African American Women Write to the New First Lady". It appears none of our missives elude publication.
You looked so lovely and happy at the inauguration I thought we could put these minor dalliances behind us. But they continue. I need you to be understanding about this, because I NEED you to be with your old man. You're too important to a battalion of highly educated black girls who have all formerly had (and currently have) perms and have all enjoyed 4 wings with mild sauce from Harold's, if you know what I mean.
But I would appreciate if you could get them to stop with the emails. I appreciate the updates, but I do read Huffington Post.
With Reverence and Love,
Charity Thomas
02 April 2009
Open Letter to President Barack Obama
Dear President Barack Obama,
I love you.
Sincerely,
Charity Thomas
P.S. I love you in a clean reverent "leader of my free world" way, that's all. Make sure you tell Michelle that. I'm just saying, 'cause I don’t want her coming after me. I mean, I do have the weight advantage, but with height and arm length and strength- she’s got me beat. I, also, can’t pull my “I’m from the South Side of Chicago” intimidation routine on her. I know for a fact that if she though I was really trying something, she’d CUT MY FUCKING HEART OUT. So, it’s a platonic love. And it’s a true love.
I love you.
Sincerely,
Charity Thomas
P.S. I love you in a clean reverent "leader of my free world" way, that's all. Make sure you tell Michelle that. I'm just saying, 'cause I don’t want her coming after me. I mean, I do have the weight advantage, but with height and arm length and strength- she’s got me beat. I, also, can’t pull my “I’m from the South Side of Chicago” intimidation routine on her. I know for a fact that if she though I was really trying something, she’d CUT MY FUCKING HEART OUT. So, it’s a platonic love. And it’s a true love.
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